i've always dreamt of ending up with somebody. especially after becoming a disciple, i've wished more than ever for someone who would prove me wrong for every time i've said, "i'll never end up with anybody."
for my first spiritual birthday, Ate Rhea gave me a small pink notebook--all blank pages, smaller than a regular pocketbook, perfect paper. i felt it too precious and too wonderful to go to waste by merely doodling anything in it, so i decided to use it to write my prayers for my future husband as well as my letters to him.
i've been at it for months now (ever since December, really), and in all honesty it does me so much good to write in it. i put quotes from Hamlet and Cyrano de Bergerac in there and song lyrics i absolutely love (like Here, There and Everywhere) meant for him, whoever he must be.
i get excited at the thought that someone truly deserving of this notebook will one day receive it. it will be his reward and his proof of my love for him, whoever he must be. and though i can't see him in this present world, i fall in love with him more and more as i write for him. i will love him forever.
