the sadness list.

1. feeling that i don't belong
2. no one understands me
3. being incapable of leadership
4. the "right one" will never come along
5. my mama not getting well
6. all my friends who studied the Bible never pushed through and finished their studies to the end
7. feeling left out
8. i'm closer to older disciples than ones my age
9. the only person i've loved (in a romantic sense) can never know or feel the same way
10. feeling pressured to learn Tagalog
11. why can't i be myself?
12. people-pleasing sucks
13. sometimes i wish i were a guy
14. i'm ugly
15. i'm always surrounded by people who are prettier than me
16. the song "I'll Never Love This Way Again"
17. my dreams not coming true
18. my selfishness
19. my anger
20. when my parents get angry at me
21. not being accepted as i am
22. always feeling stupid
23. everyone has somebody--i have nobody
24. my friendships in the world always feel closer than in the Kingdom
25. God feels so far away from me
26. it's taking a million years for the right one to come along (if ever he is out there in the first place)
27. people bother me
28. there are many more reasons for me to be happy--but i feel as though i don't have the strength to be happy
29. wanting to have someone in the church i can consider as my best friend
30. failing
31. not being supported/helped in reaching out to my friends sometimes
32. i want to be real with a disciple--but i feel hardly anyone is