wait lang

okay

remind me never to search through upperclassman tumblrs/behance accounts from this point on

suddenly i'm scared for my life

why Aman why

we've got work to do!

so far:

• STS Reaction Paper (due Wednesday)
• VC 100 Research Paper (due Thursday)
• VC 120 Editorial Outfit Pitch (due Thursday)
• VC 100 Advertising Outfit (due Friday next week)

not quite overworked just yet, but getting there.

i think the four-month summer rewired my brain into a more wordy thinker. with all those books i've read and the posts i've made, it's become way easier for me to translate my thoughts into words instead of pictures--which isn't such a good thing, especially being an art student.

so far though, the schoolyear's been fantastic. i extremely adore my Advertising prof, Sir Conrad. on our first day of classes, he blew everyone away with his stories and engaging monologues. it's his second year teaching at CFA, yet he talks as though he's been here forever. 

Viel, Toto, Aya and i got Aman again for this year (as if last year wasn't enough) for Editorial Design, and we have to say, nothing much has really changed. at least his comments and deliberations last year were far harsher than this year however, his pride still appears to get ahead of him ever so often. classic Aman.

not much i can say about Sir Joey though. we've only had one meeting with him, with no syllabus or organized course outline, and dismissed 30 minutes into the class discussion. not all too fun, really... i'm not quite excited about what we'll accomplish in this class; it's too early to say so though, isn't it? time will tell.

well i'll be honest, i got into this year with no expectations and a pestering spirit of fear--but i guess everyone needs that when they start anew with the same old things. i feel somehow that my world's gotten bigger and time's run faster. that's hard to keep up with when you're overly introspective. but then again i wouldn't have it any other way.

vigil.

it's difficult for the soul to belong in a body that betrays its own mind.

it's on nights like these--nights that i'll really miss--that i just want to create and craft letters and thoughts and dreams and plays and stories, however my body desires nothing else but rest. (yet what can you do--desire is restless, as it is breathless)

i'm 19 now. and i'm glad to be alive. sleepy, but alive.

vouch.

it's 2:51 in the morning, and i cannot sleep. i feel as though there's so much that's on my mind, even more that's in my heart... so much that i want to write, to say, to remember... but no pen or key could seem to support the weight of what i wish to say.

this morning, our church will be giving a freewill offering for the disciples in Ukraine. ever since i heard of the crisis in Ukraine over Facebook, every mention of the crisis sent me to a falling devastation in my thoughts. a few times, i prayed for peace and rest to be restored where they were... but i wish my heart had been disturbed even more to pray further for this country and its aching people.

i wrote a letter meant for the church in Ukraine at around 1 AM. it disturbs my heart though that this seems to be the most that i can give... i wish i had more than words or money to offer. my selfish fear is how they may not even matter to them... or how insignificant whatever i may give may be in comparison. but i'm praying that my pride doesn't befall me. it's not my word that should encourage them--it's God.

i just pray that they feel my heart is with them. i pray that all the more, God would vouch for them in their time of need. i look out my window and find a peaceful land without smoke in the air or the stench of tear gas and burning buildings. and all i hope is that this kind of night comes for Ukraine once again. i know God will do it. God will overcome it all because He loves--and He loves valiantly.